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TED Talks, Tan Le: My immigration story

Tan Le: My immigration story

How can I speak in 10 minutes about the bonds of women over three generations, about how the astonishing strength of those bonds took hold in the life of a four-year-old girl huddled with her young sister, her mother and her grandmother for five days and nights in a small boat in the China Sea more than 30 years ago, bonds that took hold in the life of that small girl and never let go -- that small girl now living in San Francisco and speaking to you today?

This is not a finished story. It is a jigsaw puzzle still being put together. Let me tell you about some of the pieces.

Imagine the first piece: a man burning his life's work. He is a poet, a playwright, a man whose whole life had been balanced on the single hope of his country's unity and freedom. Imagine him as the communists enter Saigon, confronting the fact that his life had been a complete waste. Words, for so long his friends, now mocked him. He retreated into silence. He died broken by history. He is my grandfather. I never knew him in real life. But our lives are much more than our memories. My grandmother never let me forget his life. My duty was not to allow it to have been in vain, and my lesson was to learn that, yes, history tried to crush us, but we endured.

The next piece of the jigsaw is of a boat in the early dawn slipping silently out to sea. My mother, Mai, was 18 when her father died -- already in an arranged marriage, already with two small girls. For her, life had distilled itself into one task: the escape of her family and a new life in Australia. It was inconceivable to her that she would not succeed. So after a four-year saga that defies fiction, a boat slipped out to sea disguised as a fishing vessel. All the adults knew the risks. The greatest fear was of pirates, rape and death. Like most adults on the boat, my mother carried a small bottle of poison. If we were captured, first my sister and I, then she and my grandmother would drink.

My first memories are from the boat -- the steady beat of the engine, the bow dipping into each wave, the vast and empty horizon. I don't remember the pirates who came many times, but were bluffed by the bravado of the men on our boat, or the engine dying and failing to start for six hours. But I do remember the lights on the oil rig off the Malaysian coast and the young man who collapsed and died, the journey's end too much for him, and the first apple I tasted, given to me by the men on the rig. No apple has ever tasted the same.

After three months in a refugee camp, we landed in Melbourne. And the next piece of the jigsaw is about four women across three generations shaping a new life together. We settled in Footscray, a working-class suburb whose demographic is layers of immigrants. Unlike the settled middle-class suburbs, whose existence I was oblivious of, there was no sense of entitlement in Footscray. The smells from shop doors were from the rest of the world. And the snippets of halting English were exchanged between people who had one thing in common, they were starting again.

My mother worked on farms, then on a car assembly line, working six days, double shifts. Somehow she found time to study English and gain IT qualifications. We were poor. All the dollars were allocated and extra tuition in English and mathematics was budgeted for regardless of what missed out, which was usually new clothes; they were always secondhand. Two pairs of stockings for school, each to hide the holes in the other. A school uniform down to the ankles, because it had to last for six years. And there were rare but searing chants of "slit-eye" and the occasional graffiti: "Asian, go home." Go home to where? Something stiffened inside me. There was a gathering of resolve and a quiet voice saying, "I will bypass you. " My mother, my sister and I slept in the same bed. My mother was exhausted each night, but we told one another about our day and listened to the movements of my grandmother around the house. My mother suffered from nightmares all about the boat. And my job was to stay awake until her nightmares came so I could wake her. She opened a computer store then studied to be a beautician and opened another business. And the women came with their stories about men who could not make the transition, angry and inflexible, and troubled children caught between two worlds.

Grants and sponsors were sought. Centers were established. I lived in parallel worlds. In one, I was the classic Asian student, relentless in the demands that I made on myself. In the other, I was enmeshed in lives that were precarious, tragically scarred by violence, drug abuse and isolation. But so many over the years were helped. And for that work, when I was a final year law student, I was chosen as the young Australian of the year. And I was catapulted from one piece of the jigsaw to another, and their edges didn't fit. Tan Le, anonymous Footscray resident, was now Tan Le, refugee and social activist, invited to speak in venues she had never heard of and into homes whose existence she could never have imagined. I didn't know the protocols. I didn't know how to use the cutlery. I didn't know how to talk about wine. I didn't know how to talk about anything. I wanted to retreat to the routines and comfort of life in an unsung suburb -- a grandmother, a mother and two daughters ending each day as they had for almost 20 years, telling one another the story of their day and falling asleep, the three of us still in the same bed. I told my mother I couldn't do it. She reminded me that I was now the same age she had been when we boarded the boat. No had never been an option. "Just do it," she said, "and don't be what you're not. " So I spoke out on youth unemployment and education and the neglect of the marginalized and the disenfranchised. And the more candidly I spoke, the more I was asked to speak. I met people from all walks of life, so many of them doing the thing they loved, living on the frontiers of possibility. And even though I finished my degree, I realized I could not settle into a career in law. There had to be another piece of the jigsaw. And I realized at the same time that it is okay to be an outsider, a recent arrival, new on the scene -- and not just okay, but something to be thankful for, perhaps a gift from the boat. Because being an insider can so easily mean collapsing the horizons, can so easily mean accepting the presumptions of your province. I have stepped outside my comfort zone enough now to know that, yes, the world does fall apart, but not in the way that you fear.

Possibilities that would not have been allowed were outrageously encouraged. There was an energy there, an implacable optimism, a strange mixture of humility and daring. So I followed my hunches. I gathered around me a small team of people for whom the label "It can't be done" was an irresistible challenge. For a year we were penniless. At the end of each day, I made a huge pot of soup which we all shared. We worked well into each night. Most of our ideas were crazy, but a few were brilliant, and we broke through. I made the decision to move to the U.S. after only one trip. My hunches again. Three months later I had relocated, and the adventure has continued.

Before I close though, let me tell you about my grandmother. She grew up at a time when Confucianism was the social norm and the local Mandarin was the person who mattered. Life hadn't changed for centuries. Her father died soon after she was born. Her mother raised her alone. At 17 she became the second wife of a Mandarin whose mother beat her. With no support from her husband, she caused a sensation by taking him to court and prosecuting her own case, and a far greater sensation when she won. (Laughter) (Applause) "It can't be done" was shown to be wrong. I was taking a shower in a hotel room in Sydney the moment she died 600 miles away in Melbourne. I looked through the shower screen and saw her standing on the other side. I knew she had come to say goodbye. My mother phoned minutes later. A few days later, we went to a Buddhist temple in Footscray and sat around her casket. We told her stories and assured her that we were still with her. At midnight the monk came and told us he had to close the casket. My mother asked us to feel her hand. She asked the monk, "Why is it that her hand is so warm and the rest of her is so cold?" "Because you have been holding it since this morning," he said. "You have not let it go. " If there is a sinew in our family, it runs through the women. Given who we were and how life had shaped us, we can now see that the men who might have come into our lives would have thwarted us. Defeat would have come too easily. Now I would like to have my own children, and I wonder about the boat. Who could ever wish it on their own? Yet I am afraid of privilege, of ease, of entitlement. Can I give them a bow in their lives, dipping bravely into each wave, the unperturbed and steady beat of the engine, the vast horizon that guarantees nothing? I don't know. But if I could give it and still see them safely through, I would.

(Applause)

Trevor Neilson: And also, Tan's mother is here today in the fourth or fifth row. (Applause)

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Tan Le: My immigration story टैन ले|||| Tan Le: Mi historia de inmigración Tan Le: la mia storia di immigrazione タン・レ私の移民物語 탄 레: 나의 이민 이야기 Tan Le: A minha história de imigração Тан Ле: Моя история иммиграции 谭乐:我的移民故事

How can I speak in 10 minutes about the bonds of women over three generations, about how the astonishing strength of those bonds took hold in the life of a four-year-old girl huddled with her young sister, her mother and her grandmother for five days and nights in a small boat in the China Sea more than 30 years ago, bonds that took hold in the life of that small girl and never let go -- that small girl now living in San Francisco and speaking to you today? ||||||||зв'язки|||||||||вражаюча||||||||||||||||згорбившись|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Как я могу за 10 минут рассказать об узах женщин на протяжении трех поколений, о том, как поразительная сила этих уз воцарилась в жизни четырехлетней девочки, прижавшейся к своей младшей сестре, маме и бабушке на протяжении пяти лет. дни и ночи в маленькой лодке в Китайском море более 30 лет назад, узы, которые укрепились в жизни этой маленькой девочки и никогда не отпускали ее — эту маленькую девочку, которая сейчас живет в Сан-Франциско и разговаривает с вами сегодня?

This is not a finished story. It is a jigsaw puzzle still being put together. |||пазл||||| Let me tell you about some of the pieces.

Imagine the first piece: a man burning his life's work. Imagine a primeira peça: um homem queimando o trabalho de sua vida. He is a poet, a playwright, a man whose whole life had been balanced on the single hope of his country's unity and freedom. |||||драматург||||||||||||||||єдності|| Imagine him as the communists enter Saigon, confronting the fact that his life had been a complete waste. Imagine-o quando os comunistas entram em Saigon, confrontando o fato de que sua vida havia sido um completo desperdício. Words, for so long his friends, now mocked him. |||||||знущалися| He retreated into silence. |пішов у мов||мовчання He died broken by history. He is my grandfather. I never knew him in real life. But our lives are much more than our memories. My grandmother never let me forget his life. My duty was not to allow it to have been in vain, and my lesson was to learn that, yes, history tried to crush us, but we endured. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||витримали

The next piece of the jigsaw is of a boat in the early dawn slipping silently out to sea. A próxima peça do quebra-cabeças é de um barco no início da madrugada, deslizando silenciosamente para o mar. My mother, Mai, was 18 when her father died -- already in an arranged marriage, already with two small girls. Minha mãe, Mai, tinha 18 anos quando seu pai morreu - já em um casamento arranjado, já com duas meninas pequenas. For her, life had distilled itself into one task: the escape of her family and a new life in Australia. ||||зосередилася||||||||||||||| Para ela, a vida se destilou em uma tarefa: a fuga de sua família e uma nova vida na Austrália. It was inconceivable to her that she would not succeed. ||незбагнен||||||| So after a four-year saga that defies fiction, a boat slipped out to sea disguised as a fishing vessel. |||||||перевершує|вигадка|||||||||||судно Então, depois de uma saga de quatro anos que desafia a ficção, um barco deslizou para o mar disfarçado de navio de pesca. All the adults knew the risks. The greatest fear was of pirates, rape and death. Like most adults on the boat, my mother carried a small bottle of poison. If we were captured, first my sister and I, then she and my grandmother would drink.

My first memories are from the boat -- the steady beat of the engine, the bow dipping into each wave, the vast and empty horizon. ||||||||||||||носова частина|передок занур|||||безмежний||| Minhas primeiras lembranças são do barco - a batida constante do motor, o arco mergulhando em cada onda, o vasto e vazio horizonte. I don't remember the pirates who came many times, but were bluffed by the bravado of the men on our boat, or the engine dying and failing to start for six hours. |||||||||||обмануті|||показуха||||||||||||||||| Я не помню пиратов, которые приходили много раз, но блефовали из-за бравады мужчин на нашей лодке или из-за того, что двигатель заглох и не заводился в течение шести часов. But I do remember the lights on the oil rig off the Malaysian coast and the young man who collapsed and died, the journey's end too much for him, and the first apple I tasted, given to me by the men on the rig. |||||||||||||||||||знепритомнів||||||||||||||||||||||||на платформі Но я помню огни на нефтяной вышке у побережья Малайзии и молодого человека, который потерял сознание и умер, слишком тяжелый для него конец путешествия, и первое яблоко, которое я попробовал, подаренное мне людьми на буровой. No apple has ever tasted the same.

After three months in a refugee camp, we landed in Melbourne. And the next piece of the jigsaw is about four women across three generations shaping a new life together. We settled in Footscray, a working-class suburb whose demographic is layers of immigrants. Мы поселились в Футскрэе, рабочем пригороде, население которого состоит из слоев иммигрантов. Unlike the settled middle-class suburbs, whose existence I was oblivious of, there was no sense of entitlement in Footscray. ||||||||||не усвідомлю|||||||права на щось||Футскрей В отличие от заселенных пригородов среднего класса, о существовании которых я и не подозревал, в Футскрэе не было чувства права. The smells from shop doors were from the rest of the world. Запахи из дверей магазинов были от остального мира. And the snippets of halting English were exchanged between people who had one thing in common, they were starting again. ||фрагменти||зупиненою||||||||||||||| И люди, которых объединяло одно: они начинали сначала, обменивались отрывками запинающегося английского.

My mother worked on farms, then on a car assembly line, working six days, double shifts. |||||||||збору автомобілі|||||| Minha mãe trabalhava em fazendas, depois em uma linha de montagem de carros, trabalhando seis dias, em turnos duplos. Моя мать работала на ферме, потом на конвейере по сборке автомобилей, работая по шесть дней в две смены. Somehow she found time to study English and gain IT qualifications. De alguma forma, ela encontrou tempo para estudar inglês e obter qualificações em TI. Каким-то образом она нашла время для изучения английского языка и получения квалификации в области ИТ. We were poor. All the dollars were allocated and extra tuition in English and mathematics was budgeted for regardless of what missed out, which was usually new clothes; they were always secondhand. ||||виділені|||додаткові занят||||||||||||||||||||| Все доллары были выделены, а дополнительное обучение английскому языку и математике было предусмотрено в бюджете, независимо от того, что было упущено, а это обычно была новая одежда; они всегда были б/у. Two pairs of stockings for school, each to hide the holes in the other. |||панчохи|||||||||| Две пары чулок для школы, одна для того, чтобы скрыть дырки в другой. A school uniform down to the ankles, because it had to last for six years. Школьная форма до щиколоток, потому что она должна была прослужить шесть лет. And there were rare but searing chants of "slit-eye" and the occasional graffiti: "Asian, go home." |||||палючі|гасла||сліт|||||||| А еще были редкие, но жгучие кричалки «щекоглазая» и изредка граффити: «Азиат, иди домой». Go home to where? Something stiffened inside me. |затверділо|| There was a gathering of resolve and a quiet voice saying, "I will bypass you. " |||збір||рішучості||||||||обійду| My mother, my sister and I slept in the same bed. My mother was exhausted each night, but we told one another about our day and listened to the movements of my grandmother around the house. My mother suffered from nightmares all about the boat. And my job was to stay awake until her nightmares came so I could wake her. И моя работа заключалась в том, чтобы бодрствовать до тех пор, пока ей не приснится кошмар, чтобы я мог разбудить ее. She opened a computer store then studied to be a beautician and opened another business. |||||потім|||||візажистка|||| Она открыла компьютерный магазин, потом выучилась на косметолога и открыла еще один бизнес. And the women came with their stories about men who could not make the transition, angry and inflexible, and troubled children caught between two worlds. |||||||||||||||||непохитні||||||| E as mulheres vieram com suas histórias sobre homens que não podiam fazer a transição, crianças raivosas, inflexíveis e perturbadas, apanhados entre dois mundos. И женщины пришли со своими историями о мужчинах, которые не смогли совершить переход, злых и непреклонных, и проблемных детях, застрявших между двумя мирами.

Grants and sponsors were sought. Гранти(1||||шукали Искали гранты и спонсоров. Centers were established. ||були заснован Были созданы центры. I lived in parallel worlds. In one, I was the classic Asian student, relentless in the demands that I made on myself. ||||||||непохитний|||||||| В одном я был классическим азиатским студентом, непреклонным в требованиях, которые я предъявлял к себе. In the other, I was enmeshed in lives that were precarious, tragically scarred by violence, drug abuse and isolation. |||||вплетений|||||небезпечні||пошкоджені|||||| No outro, eu estava envolvido em vidas precárias, tragicamente marcadas pela violência, abuso de drogas e isolamento. But so many over the years were helped. And for that work, when I was a final year law student, I was chosen as the young Australian of the year. И за эту работу, когда я был студентом последнего курса юридического факультета, меня выбрали молодым австралийцем года. And I was catapulted from one piece of the jigsaw to another, and their edges didn't fit. |||катапультував||||||пазл||||||| E eu fui catapultado de um pedaço do quebra-cabeças para outro, e suas bordas não se encaixavam. И меня катапультировало от одной части головоломки к другой, и их края не совпадали. Tan Le, anonymous Footscray resident, was now Tan Le, refugee and social activist, invited to speak in venues she had never heard of and into homes whose existence she could never have imagined. |||||||||||||||||місцях||||||||||||||| Тан Ле, анонимная жительница Футскрея, теперь стала Тан Ле, беженкой и общественным деятелем, которую приглашали выступать в местах, о которых она никогда не слышала, и в домах, о существовании которых она даже не подозревала. I didn't know the protocols. I didn't know how to use the cutlery. I didn't know how to talk about wine. I didn't know how to talk about anything. I wanted to retreat to the routines and comfort of life in an unsung suburb -- a grandmother, a mother and two daughters ending each day as they had for almost 20 years, telling one another the story of their day and falling asleep, the three of us still in the same bed. |||відступити|||рутини|||||||недооцінений||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Eu queria me retirar para as rotinas e o conforto da vida em um subúrbio desconhecido - uma avó, uma mãe e duas filhas terminando todos os dias como tinham há quase 20 anos, contando uma à outra a história do dia e adormecendo, as três de nós ainda na mesma cama. Я хотел вернуться к рутине и комфорту жизни в невоспетом пригороде — бабушка, мать и две дочери заканчивали каждый день, как и в течение почти 20 лет, рассказывая друг другу историю своего дня и засыпая, трое из нас все еще в одной постели. I told my mother I couldn't do it. She reminded me that I was now the same age she had been when we boarded the boat. Она напомнила мне, что мне сейчас столько же лет, сколько было ей, когда мы сели в лодку. No had never been an option. «Нет» никогда не было вариантом. "Just do it," she said, "and don't be what you're not. " "Apenas faça", disse ela, "e não seja o que você não é." «Просто сделай это, — сказала она, — и не будь тем, кем ты не являешься». So I spoke out on youth unemployment and education and the neglect of the marginalized and the disenfranchised. ||||||||||||||маргіналізован|||позбавлені Поэтому я высказался о безработице среди молодежи и образовании, а также о пренебрежении маргинализованными и бесправными. And the more candidly I spoke, the more I was asked to speak. |||відвертіше||||||||| И чем откровеннее я говорил, тем больше меня просили говорить. I met people from all walks of life, so many of them doing the thing they loved, living on the frontiers of possibility. ||||||||||||||||||||на межах|| Eu conheci pessoas de todas as esferas da vida, muitas delas fazendo o que amavam, vivendo nas fronteiras da possibilidade. Я встречал людей из самых разных слоев общества, многие из них занимались любимым делом, живя на грани возможного. And even though I finished my degree, I realized I could not settle into a career in law. |||||||||||не можу|влаштуватися||||| E, apesar de ter terminado minha graduação, percebi que não podia entrar em uma carreira em direito. There had to be another piece of the jigsaw. And I realized at the same time that it is okay to be an outsider, a recent arrival, new on the scene -- and not just okay, but something to be thankful for, perhaps a gift from the boat. И в то же время я понял, что нормально быть аутсайдером, недавно прибывшим, новичком на сцене — и не просто хорошо, а за что-то, за что нужно быть благодарным, возможно, за подарок с лодки. Because being an insider can so easily mean collapsing the horizons, can so easily mean accepting the presumptions of your province. |||||||||||||||||припущення|||провінція Потому что быть инсайдером может так легко означать крушение горизонтов, может так легко означать принятие предположений вашей провинции. I have stepped outside my comfort zone enough now to know that, yes, the world does fall apart, but not in the way that you fear. Já saí da minha zona de conforto o suficiente para saber que sim, o mundo desmorona, mas não da maneira que você teme.

Possibilities that would not have been allowed were outrageously encouraged. ||||||||обурливо| Возможности, которые не были допущены, возмутительно поощрялись. There was an energy there, an implacable optimism, a strange mixture of humility and daring. |була|||||непохитний||||||скромність||сміливість So I followed my hunches. ||||інтуїція I gathered around me a small team of people for whom the label "It can't be done" was an irresistible challenge. |||||||||||||||||||непереборний| Reuni ao meu redor uma pequena equipe de pessoas para quem o rótulo "Não pode ser feito" era um desafio irresistível. For a year we were penniless. |||||без грошей At the end of each day, I made a huge pot of soup which we all shared. We worked well into each night. Most of our ideas were crazy, but a few were brilliant, and we broke through. A maioria das nossas idéias era louca, mas algumas eram brilhantes, e nós terminamos. I made the decision to move to the U.S. after only one trip. My hunches again. Three months later I had relocated, and the adventure has continued.

Before I close though, let me tell you about my grandmother. She grew up at a time when Confucianism was the social norm and the local Mandarin was the person who mattered. ||||||||||||||||||||мав значення Life hadn't changed for centuries. Her father died soon after she was born. Her mother raised her alone. Sua mãe a criou sozinha. At 17 she became the second wife of a Mandarin whose mother beat her. With no support from her husband, she caused a sensation by taking him to court and prosecuting her own case, and a far greater sensation when she won. |||||||||сенсацію|||||||||||||||||| (Laughter) (Applause) "It can't be done" was shown to be wrong. (Risos) (Aplausos) "Não pode ser feito" mostrou-se errado. I was taking a shower in a hotel room in Sydney the moment she died 600 miles away in Melbourne. Eu estava tomando banho em um quarto de hotel em Sydney no momento em que ela morreu a 600 milhas de distância em Melbourne. I looked through the shower screen and saw her standing on the other side. Olhei pela tela do chuveiro e a vi parada do outro lado. I knew she had come to say goodbye. My mother phoned minutes later. A few days later, we went to a Buddhist temple in Footscray and sat around her casket. ||||||||||||||||кришка труни We told her stories and assured her that we were still with her. At midnight the monk came and told us he had to close the casket. |||монах|||||||||| My mother asked us to feel her hand. She asked the monk, "Why is it that her hand is so warm and the rest of her is so cold?" Ela perguntou ao monge: "Por que sua mão está tão quente e o resto dela está tão frio?" "Because you have been holding it since this morning," he said. "Porque você o segura desde esta manhã", disse ele. "You have not let it go. " "Você não deixou passar." If there is a sinew in our family, it runs through the women. ||||сила|||||||| Se há um tendão em nossa família, ele percorre as mulheres. Given who we were and how life had shaped us, we can now see that the men who might have come into our lives would have thwarted us. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||перешкодили| Dado quem éramos e como a vida nos moldara, agora podemos ver que os homens que poderiam ter entrado em nossas vidas teriam nos frustrado. Defeat would have come too easily. Поразка||||| Now I would like to have my own children, and I wonder about the boat. Who could ever wish it on their own? Quem poderia desejar isso por conta própria? Yet I am afraid of privilege, of ease, of entitlement. |||||привілей||легкості||права на щось No entanto, tenho medo de privilégios, de facilidade, de direito. Can I give them a bow in their lives, dipping bravely into each wave, the unperturbed and steady beat of the engine, the vast horizon that guarantees nothing? |||||поклін||||||||||неспокійний|||||||||||| Posso lhes dar uma reverência em suas vidas, mergulhando bravamente em cada onda, a batida imperturbável e constante do motor, o vasto horizonte que não garante nada? I don't know. But if I could give it and still see them safely through, I would. Mas se eu pudesse dar e ainda os ver com segurança, eu o faria.

(Applause)

Trevor Neilson: And also, Tan's mother is here today in the fourth or fifth row. Trevor Neilson: E também, a mãe de Tan está aqui hoje na quarta ou quinta fila. (Applause)